At a press conference in February, President Trump stunned health care pundits, reporters — and pretty much all of America — with this jaw-dropping remark, “Now, I have to tell you, [health care is] an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.” Duh. If you have ever been to a hospital and had to deal with the red tape from doctors, hospitals, and insurance companies — it makes building a wheelchair with glue and popsicle sticks while blindfolded like child’s play. So why not ask the witty (and punny) medical specialists what they think of the Affordable Health Care Act (AKA TrumpCare)? Here is how they weighed in on this complex legislation:
The allergists voted to scratch it, but the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The gastroenterologists wanted to throw up, but the neurologists thought the politicians had a lot of nerve.
The obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
Pathologists exclaimed, “Over my dead body!” while the pediatricians retorted, “Oh, grow up!”
The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was insanity, while the radiologists could see right through it.
The hematologists were so angry they just saw red, while otolaryngologists just shook their heads in strong disapproval.
The surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
Gynecologists, on the other hand, thought it was all a bunch of hoo-haw.
The ear nose and throat specialists didn’t swallow it, and just wouldn’t hear of it. The pharmacologists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the plastic surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the issue”
The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
The anesthesiologist thought the whole plan was a gas, but the cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
Ultimately, the proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.
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There’s a Word for That: Epeolatry